Shame on me?

I'm not sure if this happens to you, but I get focused at times on why something is happening to me or people I know. Oftentimes, after much reflection (or if I'm lucky - a great friend or family member will talk me through it) eventually I find out that some of my past decisions and choices have come to full and ....yep - I'm reaping a crop of my own crap! I get a knot in my stomach and guilt fills me...guilt turns to shame and if I came to this realization by myself I DO NOT want to talk to someone about it - it's nasty...gross (that's why I said - "If I'm lucky, someone else gets me to that point" - at least they can be there to help alleviate the shame). I also read that just because I believe that Jesus is my Savior, it doesn't mean I'm exempt from suffering and pain - I read that it is that fact that some people suffer more than if they didn't believe! So, Brad.... don't feel bad that you go through bad things from time to time!

Like Gideon I get stuck on ME. Why is this happening to me? Why isn't everyone joining my pity party??? Then when the answer is revealed to me...I want to crawl in a hole. Same with Gideon...luckily for him someone (Jesus - the angel of the Lord) got him to realize this and before he could feel shame...the angel focused Gideon on what God has planned for him - check out this exchange:

Judges 6: 14-16 
"The Lord turned to him (Gideon) and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” (Yah, dude - get out there and kick them out of your land!)
“But Lord,” Gideon asked, “how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”(This is so cool - I feel like this always - "What can I do? I'm one person, from a small town in the mountains, I don't have anything special!" Plus, it's hard to really stand out in the crowd - by and far most people want to "fit in" and being outside the norm is not a comfortable position to stay in)
The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.”(This is the best news of all - God promises to be WITH me. We'll tackle my problems together!)

What I'm getting out of this so far is that guilt is: "I made a mistake!"
Shame is: "I am a mistake"

The thing is - God says "No! - you are NOT a mistake! I created you (see Psalm 139:13 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.") and I have a plan for you (see Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."), so....you cannot be a mistake!"


Prayer:  Thanks Jesus for taking my shame... I make mistakes and sometimes I have to live with some of the consequences....but at least I don't have to be weighed down by the oppression of shame! 

If you are reading this and are carrying shame for decisions you've made - talk with Jesus about it. If you would like to bounce it off of someone... contact me, I'll listen!