Christopher B

This is for a premie baby, Christopher B - my cousins son - who passed away this weekend. His time on earth was short but he was able to connect people to God...interesting work for a human 27 weeks premature. This is a post from the Caring Bridge journal my cousin posted (I did not ask permission, but I'm hoping that since the journal is public, she won't mind). I love the way that when God gives you a glimpse of Him....you see SO much....

"A friend from monument came to visit me and Christopher yesterday. Like everyone, she was speechless in his presence, not even attempting to find words to describe the experience. We marveled at Christopher and all of his little victories and shared some good conversation. As she got ready to leave she said, "Well, I'm gonna go home and tell my husband that I saw God today." My eyes opened wide and I looked at her with glassy eyes. "You know, its a country song...George Strait sings it." I told her that I'd never heard the song, but that I LOVED that expression used in relation to seeing Christopher, and that I would go home and listen to it right away.

Once home, there were too many things to do so, of course, I forgot to ever listen to the song. But I was able to pull it up on my IPOD as I drove to the hospital this morning. The chorus says "I've been to church and I've read the book, I know He's here, but sometimes I just don't look..." I was suddenly overwhelmed with how appropro the verse was. It's easy to get caught up in our days of work, school, dishes, laundry, gossip, news, and headlines. We get distracted from seeing God right in front of us...until something, or someone, like Christopher comes along.

Not only did I see God today in the purest, tiniest miracle of Christopher, but I saw Him in the SCHWANNS delivery man who showed up yesterday with several frozen dinners, paid for by friends from Denver. I saw God in my neighbor who knocked on our door last night and asked if she could plant our trying-to-survive-but-really-dying mums. I saw God in the hundreds of beautiful emails and texts we've received over the course of the last few days. I saw God in the nurse who gave Christopher the gentlest bath I've ever seen. I saw God in my fifteen and sixteen year old daughters who came to visit their brother today before going to school.

Truly, I am overwhelmed at the magnitude in which I see God, working in ALL our lives through the birth of this tiny person. An entire community coming together with such love and support...there is no doubt in my mind who's hand is behind this...God's!"

Rest in peace little Christopher B...

1 is More Than 99?

The right thing to do is not always the most logical...that is what I've been thinking about lately. Strategic planning sessions, lawyers, savvy CEO's, mentors and friends alike often give advice for the right thing to do often based on logistics...probability of something happening and providing a risk assessment. Then the "correct" answer is the one that limits risk and/or has the best probability of happening. I've given advice based on these concepts.

In Isaiah 55: 8-9 God says: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

Good thing... Jesus told a parable about a lost sheep in Mathew 18: 12-13 "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off."

That does not seem to make logical sense...why leave ninety-nine to go get one ? Why be so happy about it? I've been taught in school and logical thinking as an engineer that that is a stupid move...Yeah...God's ways are not my ways... I want them to be...I want to be happy I found one when I just left ninety-nine. So often I'm busting my hump to corral the remaining ninety-nine so I don't lose any more! That's the logical thing, right? It doesn't cross my mind that I should go after the one!

I am even worse than that, though... You see... I expect Jesus to come after me when I am the one out of ninety-nine that is alone. I feel like the man that brought his son that was possessed to Jesus and Jesus says that everything is possible for those that believe...the next is my favorite..."Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”...the story can be found in Mark 9:14-32.

Prayer:  Thank you, Father that You sent Your Son after the one! Thank you that each of us can identify with that one and that we can experience Your love. Please help me, Lord to better understand Your ways and help me to go after the one....even when it is not the logical thing to do! 

Swim

I remember watching my kids learn how to swim. They did great in the shallow end where they new they could swim, but if anything happened, they could just stand up...no harm, no foul. I remember watching them - under my urging - strike out for the "deep end". Inevitably they would be swimming like champs until they realized that they were actually in the deep end. They couldn't touch the bottom! There was something about that realization that made them physically unable to swim - no matter how well they were doing prior. They would flail around and either I'd have to swim out and help them or talk to them to calm them and then they would continue to swim to the edge.

This is how I picture my walk with God.... I like to swim where I can touch the bottom. I'm still serving, I tell myself. I'm doing God's work...However.....there is a longing in my heart for more...for the deep end...for what is unknown - scary....

Right now I feel like I have started swimming into the deep end and I have realized that I can't touch but I have enough energy to get back to where I can...I'm flailing...I want to get out to the deep... rely on God and His provisions...but something keeps doubt in my mind....barely treading water....should I go back to what is known?...will I drown out here?...Does anyone even know that I'm out here?...

Swim, Bradley....just focus on Me and swim....