Swim

I remember watching my kids learn how to swim. They did great in the shallow end where they new they could swim, but if anything happened, they could just stand up...no harm, no foul. I remember watching them - under my urging - strike out for the "deep end". Inevitably they would be swimming like champs until they realized that they were actually in the deep end. They couldn't touch the bottom! There was something about that realization that made them physically unable to swim - no matter how well they were doing prior. They would flail around and either I'd have to swim out and help them or talk to them to calm them and then they would continue to swim to the edge.

This is how I picture my walk with God.... I like to swim where I can touch the bottom. I'm still serving, I tell myself. I'm doing God's work...However.....there is a longing in my heart for more...for the deep end...for what is unknown - scary....

Right now I feel like I have started swimming into the deep end and I have realized that I can't touch but I have enough energy to get back to where I can...I'm flailing...I want to get out to the deep... rely on God and His provisions...but something keeps doubt in my mind....barely treading water....should I go back to what is known?...will I drown out here?...Does anyone even know that I'm out here?...

Swim, Bradley....just focus on Me and swim....

Bread

OK... this may be not quite appropriate...but...I've got to tell you....I was REALLY mad when my church replaced our "bread" in communion (you know the little squares...what Dane Cook calls Christ Chex) with little flecks (about half the size of the square).

Man... I NEED more Christ .... not less! The little flecks are NOT a replacement for the squares...take note admin folks that order "the bread of Christ"!

Also... I've been to churches that give you actual bread...you know... you tear off a hunk. Secretly, (well not so secretly now..) I want the moist chewy Christ. Right?! Who wants a crusty, dry Christ?

I tend to want Christ my way. It is hard sometimes for me to grasp the fullness of Christ... It is easy for me to see his grace, love, understanding... It's like the chewy bread of Christ... yummy and tasty! But what about the Christ that brings a holiness that chases out the demons...What about the temple table tossing Christ? That's harder for me to stomach...I don't like the hard, crusty Christ.... But... alas, I need the fullness of Christ. I need the butt kicking Christ as well as the hugging Christ.

Just don't give me little bread fleck of Christ... I at least want the full square!!!

The Black Hole

Many people live in what feels like a building with no windows. Their life turns dark gray and the weight of the world starts to crush them. Nothing seems fun and they feel worthless... I know... I am one of them. Today's blog is very important if you are also a person that experiences depression. Here are some facts:

• 80% of people that seek treatment for depression are treated successfully.
• By 2010, depression will be the #1 disability in the world. (World Health Organization)
• The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression.
• Many who attempt suicide never seek professional care.
• Over half of all suicides occur in adult men, ages 25-65.
• For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death.
• There are an estimated 8 to 25 attempted suicides to 1 completion.
• 1 in 65,000 children ages 10 to 14 commit suicide each year.

I have also found that I find comfort and indeed the ability to exit my depression through God's word.


That may sound hokey... but if you have depression 1) tell someone and get help 2) tell God.

Here is what God has told me during these lonely, cold, dark times...

1 John 3:1 See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! (We are children of God - the King! - we are...you and I are...princes and princesses. You are worth something! Something special, indeed!)

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (Since we are His children, it makes sense that He would care about us. I've found that it is easier to say that I give my worries and cares to God and much harder to do it...as I have been able to do this - it is HARD - I have definitely seen His hand in my life and His peace in my being)

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. (Don't think that God does not hear you...he does! We have the ability to approach God in His throne room...we don't even have to make an appointment! When I start to feel low... I barge right in there and tell Him - it doesn't have to be a perfect prayer...He will meet you where you are...reach out and say what you want - from your heart)

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  (Thank you God for including this...even when I think that I am small, weak and worthless....You choose me! God CHOOSES YOU.)

 

God loves you and works through you...you are valuable and the world needs you! You are not alone...there are many of us around...it is not shameful...reach out - get help...and call to God!

 

Approval Rating

It seems as though my fellow humans are interested in getting and having approval from their peers, superiors and followers (which is great because then I don't feel like the only one!). Growing up in high school peoples lives are often hijacked in the name of popularity. I've worn some pretty ugly clothes just so I could feel like part of the crowd! The news media often talks about a famous persons (especially the President's) approval rating.

I've had the hunch, though, that a high approval rating may not be the indicator of success...

This morning I read in 1 Samuel 15 about Saul, the first king of Israel. Saul was chosen because he was humble and did what God told him to do. Well.... fast forward a few years and here's God telling Saul "Hey, remember those Amalekites...? Well I'm tired of them pushing my people around.... so... Saul, I want you to go and wipe them out - don't leave any of them alive AND kill all of their livestock, too!" Well, Saul is a big king now, he wants to be seen as someone that can lead effectively - you know...have good approval ratings with his subjects.

So here is what Saul does - Saul goes out and NEARLY wipes out the Amalekites. You see he brings back their king and their best livestock (he killed all the weak and useless ones). The people were SO happy with Saul! Great job king! In fact, let's build a little monument to Saul!!! Yahoo!

Samuel was mad as a hornets nest! Why? Because Saul did not do what God asked...Saul did some of it...MOST of it but not all of it. Why? Because Saul was more interested in how the people viewed him than how God viewed him. What does God say about this? Well, God is sorry that He selected Saul as the king...and so is Samuel.

My first thought is "Wow, what an idiot, Saul!" "Just do what God tells you and you would have been OK" Unfortunately, the longer I thought about this the more convicted I became of my own actions!!! How many times has God spoken to me to do something, help someone, quit doing something... You want to know what? Saul is better than me, because sometimes I don't do what God tells me to do at ALL - I don't even do some or MOST.... I sit back and worry about my approval rating... will people say that I'm some kind of freak???

Prayer:  God, please give me the strength and courage to do what you ask of me. Help me to do it right away and help me to do all of it!

Maybe someday my approval rating won't matter...Hopefully......people will say that I'm some kind of freak!

Eleventy First

Cool! I've had Eleventy One visitors!!

Burning

Just lettin' God burn in me today...That's so amazing to me...really....God - in me...us! I want to be a torch that is aflame with His light and love...
 

Luke 3:16 "John (the Baptist) answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come (Jesus!), the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire" Matthew 3:11  is similar....


Lyrics from a song by TobyMac...Burn for You
I'm a brand new man, I'm a conscious man
I'm a man who's burnin' for you
The mistakes I've made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue
I'm a brand new man in a foreign land, I'm a man who's feelin' that fire
And it's all so clear when I'm standing here at the peak of my desire

So won't you move me like you used to
I want the world to know I burn for you

I feel revived again, I am alive again
(Burnin' for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I'm energized again
(Burnin' for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up

I'm a whole new guy with a whole new vibe
Changed inside - more flame in the fire
Can't stop, won't stop praying for desire
Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized
Old shell gone without a trace, new face
No more shortness of breath, new pace
Live life now without the taste of fear

Tapestry

When I was young a read a book that supposed that death, war, father time, mother earth and fate were actually people. They each had their jobs to do...it was pretty interesting and the thought of fate has stayed with me since. See fate's job was to weave a tapestry using thread that represented peoples lives, where two threads crossed, people met and interacted...

I often think of my life represented that way... a thread ...there are times that I want to just be alone, not be bothered by anyone, just do it myself ...but I think of Romans 12:3-8 "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you (I like this... seems to say that we should continually evaluate ourselves as our faith grows). Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others (We are not all supposed to be the same, God wants me to appreciate and protect the differences among us - we belong together!). We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage (I think that this is where I live...); if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently (sometimes I wish this was me); if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully"

I see that even if I am a fantastically beautiful thread... I don't make much of a tapestry. But God wants us to be together, sharing life and faith and weave a wonderfully awesome tapestry! Each of us excelling where He gave us strength and each of us lifting each other up...yesterday was a hard day for me and I had so many people that gave me kicks in the butt, and encouragement, and love... THAT is what we are created for...living in Christ to love each other.... I'm glad that my thread is interconnecting with yours and that together we are weaving an incredible tapestry ....